During my time as a concierge I.T. guy, I received a referral to a female theatrical agent at a big 3 agency we’ll call Shari. When I walked in the door she tried to kiss me. Fucking weird.
ME: Hey, whoa. I’m just the I.T. guy
SHARI: What? Do I disgust you? Do I make you sick?
When things go that sideways, it’s best to keep going and not add to the weirdness. I give her the warm and friendly and keep walking into her house.
ME: C’mon now. We’re not doing that. Show me your computer problem.
I managed to calm her down and fix her issue quickly. She had a beautiful Spanish in Nichols Canyon and a couple of jumpy rescue dogs reflective of their owner’s personality. We became friends-ish. She would summon me. We’d drink single malt, b.s. and watch E! News. Sometimes we’d go shopping. Everyone knew her and kissed her ass. She’d would be rude and talk down to almost all of them. She was powerful, lonely, and very very damaged. She would abuse her assistants in person and on the phone.
SHARI: What’re you doing later?
ME: Nothing
SHARI: Johnny Depp just brought over a box of Bolivar Belicosos Finos. Do you know what they are?
ME: Yes of course. 52 ring gauge Havana torpedo. One of the best.
